Wednesday, January 8, 2020

Confidence Inspiring Customer Service At $850 A Pop

HahnatHome:  Yeah, hi.  You guys left several messages on my answering machine that my dentist is no longer with you and you need to reschedule me with a new dentist.  The name is Hahn.  H-a-h-n.  Lori.  My appointment was for tomorrow at 8 am with Dr. Kim.
Dentist’s Person:  Are you a patient here?
A minute later.
Dentist’s Person:  We’ve given you to Dr. Blahdeblah.   He’s been working in the front office.
HahnatHome:  Do you mean he’s not a dentist, but office staff or something?
Dentist’s Person:  Oh, no, he’s a dentist.  He’s just been working in the office.
I’m scratching my head and getting very nervous.
HahnatHome:  Does he have experience working with extremely fearful patients?
Dentist’s Person:  Hang on, I’ll check.
Four million hours later.
Dentist’s Person:  So, do you want to take the appointment tomorrow?
HahnatHome:   What was the answer to my question? (droplets of sweat are now forming on my forehead)
Dentist’s Person:  What was the question?
I’ll let you know how it goes.
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.
~ Joseph Heller

 Published on: Jan 3, 2007 

Be My Cooking Wife

My distaste for cooking may have been mentioned before, eight or nine hundred times. I am sans-kidlings for the week so I don’t have to cook anything! This started out sounding pretty good until it got to be 3 pm today and I hadn’t eaten because I had nothing to cook. No groceries in the frig—not going to cook a meal for just myself and sure don’t want to find an open restaurant tonight. So, I’m foraging for food. Aha—9-month-old coconut shrimp from Trader Joes, some Apple Jacks, or a box of Pasta Roni. Then, I realized the coconut shrimp had been in the freezer for a wee bit too long (the freezer burn had freezer burn), so I threw it out and went with the Pasta Roni. Hopefully, evaporated milk will substitute for real milk, otherwise, I’m screwed. I really need a wife. The pay is low, but my undying adoration should be enough, right? I really, really wish Samantha Stevens was available. Applications being taken.
sam2.jpg
My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not you'll become a philosopher. ~ Socrates

 Published on: Jan 2, 2007

Pondering Important Questions

My sister joined us for our holiday at la beach so we had a lot of time to ponder on our 8-hour trip to Pacific Beach. Questions we had included:

  1. Can cars drive on truck routes on the LA freeway system to avoid car traffic? We didn’t find an answer to this online, but I experimented when caught in an accident snarl at Roxford Dr. just outside of LA on I-5 on the return trip. Yes, you can, but it’s really stupid to try it. Then you are in a traffic jam with drivers who can’t see you who threaten to roll over your pitiful little Ford as it sits lost in the midst of a sea of trucks when what you should have done is just deal with the 9,000,000 other cars at a dead stop on the main route. Same theory applies to checkout stands. The one you are in is always the slowest. If you change lines everyone in front of you will need a price-check.

  1. Why is the Grapevine called the Grapevine? I have no idea. But it’s just another name for the Tejon Pass between Bakersfield and LA on I-5. Also, there are many, many crazy drivers on this stretch of road—mostly tourists—you know, the ones that race up past you and then slow down so you can’t pass anyone—then you speed up and finally do get past them and they then speed up and slow down next to you again as they watch Sponge Bob on their on-board television while traversing the treacherous mountain curves, oblivious to the fact anyone else is on the road with them. Or the ones who have no freakin’ clue what it means to check their blind spot when changing lanes at 95 mph. “Blind spot? What’s that?” Bastards. And, no, that would not include me.
 

  1. Mezzo Soprano. What the hell is it? I think it must be Italian for Tony’s long-lost, long-thought-to-be-dead notorious Mafioso Uncle, who will be introduced and whacked by Christopher as he tries vainly to keep Tony from finding out about his descent back into drug addiction in the new season starting in January. Or, maybe it’s a richer, deeper singing voice—likened to a 2nd Soprano. Range somewhere between Contralto and Soprano.
 
And now, I get to play with my new toy, the iPod Mini. The gift giver should probably remain anonymous, but it really is a cool gift, and very thoughtful based on my current music-less state. Thank God the insurance claim was just approved and life and music will get back to normal! Anyone need a 300-CD holder?

Conversation should touch everything, but should concentrate itself on nothing.
~ Oscar Wilde

Published on: Jan 1, 2007 

Like Lemmings

Warning: I will be speaking heavily in acronyms for the next few minutes.
I was doing my usual reading this morning of Red Hog Diary and The Peace Tree, and noticed that the site owner of The Peace Tree had observed a hit from the Directorate of Automation Services (DAS) in Ft. Belvoir, Virginia.
Now, I had to go back in the old memory banks to my days at INSCOM (Intelligence & Security Command) , which is headquartered there. Seems that the DAS is the responsible to ensure that networks and e-mail systems are secure for organizations like USAREUR and INSCOM, which send volumes of classified messages and documents hither and yon.
Here’s the thing—it’s pretty apparent to me that the US Intelligence Community (NSA, NSC, DIA, CIA, etc.) is indeed gathering data on not only sites as they relate to terrorism, but small and fairly unknown sites with just over 22,000 visitors in the course of its life, that voices dissent regarding its own country’s leadership, the reactionary Right, and discusses other topics of social justice. In the time I’ve been reading and occasionally writing for this site, I’ve never once heard it espouse a desire to topple the government, call to assassinate leadership, or support Al Queda, Osama Bin Ladin, radical Islam, or in any way subvert our troops, despite a general disagreement over our involvement in this war.
It seems that many Americans think it’s okay to violate civil liberties in the cause of stemming the tide of terrorism. But, do they know at what cost? Is the rationalization that because you are not saying or doing anything that would be considered a risk, you have nothing to worry about?
As time goes by, and there is no direct impact on their own lives, getting around to understanding the mess that has become our civil liberties, or lack thereof, fades further into the background. So few people who have voted for the Bush agenda have taken more than a cursory glance at The Patriot Act and what it encompasses. Or have paid attention as the Bush Regime makes up it’s own rules regarding torture, interrogation, and which parts of The Geneva Convention they really can’t get away with disregarding out of hand.
What scares me more than being scanned, recorded, analyzed, and assessed with a threat level is the knowledge that the majority of our voting public are mere lemmings, following blindly uninformed, but so, so sure that they themselves are safe, until they topple over the precipice to the loss of democracy. It seems our government is ascribing to the adage, “Knowledge is power,” when its very subjects have missed that connection themselves. It is our responsibility to dissent if our leadership is doing the wrong thing—it is our country after all, they are merely our servants—something all parties seem to have forgotten.
The other fear I have is that the generations behind me seem not to have a clear understanding of history, and how it repeats. It reminded me of this, said at the end of World War II (and no, kids, that wasn’t in the 1700s or something): “In Germany they came first for the Communists and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me--and by that time no one was left to speak up.” ~ Pastor Martin Niemoller
Also posted at The Peace Tree

 Published on: Dec 29, 2006 

My Review At You Talk 2 Much

At last, my review! I could have done way worse, so I'm grateful. Good thing I did my Daily Affirmations With Stuart Smalley, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!"
"This blog is sort of like lukewarm, plain oatmeal for me. The template is quite plain, which isn’t a bad thing. The writing is somewhat boring, which isn’t a bad thing. The sidebar is quite sparse, which again, isn’t a bad thing. I actually have very little feeling for this blog.
The entries, lacked personality. I felt like I was reading my 3rd grade teacher’s blog or something. Dull, dull, dull. The only entry that I found mildly amusing was when she took the car to get the oil changed. She had a bit of personality there. Otherwise, it just seems like she’s bellyaching and boring me to death.
I’ve got nothing for you."

Published on: Dec 28, 2006

Vacation In Paradise: Three Teens, Bad Weather & No Computer

Noon:  Three teens, locked in the house due to gale force winds (at least 40 mph) and rain (that stopped hours ago), and mom of said teens who is praying that they all decide to take a nap soon.  Damn, I keep forgetting they aren’t four anymore and I don’t get naptime.  My day.   Here we are in paradise and all anyone wants to do is bow to the God of Spongebob. 
2 pm:  I can take no more—we’re going to the movies. 
5 pm:  Apparently, the movie, Night at the Museum, didn’t suck as bad as it could have, at least that was the thought-provoking review by the children.
7 pm:  Mom purchases sedatives to slip into their after dinner snack drink.
Gratuitous plug:  I guess it’s no surprise, but my J-Man has a different perspective on things than do his peers. Not that he doesn’t spend a lot of time thinking about the things that other pubescent boys normally think about, but I choose to shut that particular part of the J-Man out of my mind.  And, as I’m happy to plug a good blog when I run across one, I thought I’d give this aspiring writer one too.  Please visit “Yes, I’m Joe” as found on my blogroll.  Any support you can give him puts him one step closer to that $3,000,000 publisher’s advance that will purchase the beach house in which we’re currently residing. 

Published on: Dec 27, 2006 

Vacation In Paradise: Teenage Sullenus

Paradise.  It’s all relative.  The much-anticipated trip to Balboa Park to the museums reminded me of why you couldn’t pay me any amount of money to be a teenager again.  Or the mom of a teenager.  The sun was beautiful—clouds hovering like pillows above us as the waves rocked into the shore—the bickering began as we opened the doors to the car. If you’ve seen that commercial where the kids sat in the back almost touching each other, teasing, “I’m not touching you,” that would be the trip to the park.  Until I began channeling my father; his voice deep inside of me spewed forth and yelled, “Hey, I’m either gonna’ take you home right now or else dump you here and you can walk back!”  Silence ruled throughout the land the remainder of the drive.
Once there, my good parking Karma held and we entered the Air & Space Museum.  The highlight for my sister was finding out how little she would weigh on the moon.  She was unable to locate the realty specialist for that ideal Moon property, so her newly hatched plan to relocate has been postponed.
All the things I marveled at on my trip here this summer were met with, “It’s just a tree,” (the historic Morton Bay Fig planted for the 1915 World Exhibition), “Why does this place make me want to take a nap?” (after witnessing the beauty of the grand El Prado and its Spanish Revival architectural wonders), and “Where are we going to eat?”   I wonder if they’d believe that the animals at the Wild Animal Park eat surly teenagers for lunch—and then insist we visit just before feeding time tomorrow.
 
It's difficult to decide whether growing pains are something teenagers have - or are.  ~Author Unknown

 Published on: Dec 26, 2006