My distaste for cooking may have been mentioned before, eight or nine hundred times. I am sans-kidlings for the week so I don’t have to cook anything! This started out sounding pretty good until it got to be 3 pm today and I hadn’t eaten because I had nothing to cook. No groceries in the frig—not going to cook a meal for just myself and sure don’t want to find an open restaurant tonight. So, I’m foraging for food. Aha—9-month-old coconut shrimp from Trader Joes, some Apple Jacks, or a box of Pasta Roni. Then, I realized the coconut shrimp had been in the freezer for a wee bit too long (the freezer burn had freezer burn), so I threw it out and went with the Pasta Roni. Hopefully, evaporated milk will substitute for real milk, otherwise, I’m screwed. I really need a wife. The pay is low, but my undying adoration should be enough, right? I really, really wish Samantha Stevens was available. Applications being taken.
My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not you'll become a philosopher. ~ Socrates
Published on: Jan 2, 2007
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