Oprah-lalapalooza episode tomorrow with the much touted interview with former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey, who resigned in 2004 in the wake of coming out as a gay man while answering calls that he was up to some political shenanigans while in office. “They” say it’s a must-see. I say, don’t buy his book, “Confessions,” which is the reason for his foray back into the public limelight after two years of near-silence.
While many of my Lavender brethren (all gender-inclusive) feel McGreevey was incredibly brave for outing himself, the outing was inevitable and his advisors needed to control the spin, so in my view, it was merely an act of self-preservation and rather cowardly.
I have an issue with this guy on a number of levels. One, he hired his boyfriend for a job the boyfriend was totally unqualified to do. Love does strange things to people, perhaps, but McGreevey’s handlers ought to have known better. But, nepotism is nothing new.
The bigger issue is the totally lack of character he displayed by staying closeted while married to his then-wife Dina Matos McGreevey. While cheating is nothing new under the sun, and certainly nothing new to politicians, whom, one might say, count that as a perk of the job, McGreevey was duplicitous on a deeper level. McGreevey entered into a relationship as a gay man without sharing this mildly important bit of news with the little woman.
According to Amity Pierce Buxton, whose own husband came out in 1983, and who started the Straight Spouse Network, there may be as many as 2 million gay or lesbian spouses who try to maintain a dual-existence. His claim was that he was “struggling with his sexuality.” Whaaa, give it a rest. All of us in our age group did. McGreevey wanted it all—he wanted the security of the straight world, picture-perfect family included, and to surreptitiously live a gay lifestyle—but not pay the price. And, there’s always a price. Even today, the price is struggling for acceptance by having to run for office as a “gay” candidate (because it becomes an issue, for whatever reason), having to fight and scrap for every right provided to straight Americans, having our ability to parent as well as straight parents questioned, being turned away for jobs or housing based on how we gender-conform or whom we sleep with, be assaulted and victimized, and just plain having to justify whether we were born this way or were made. Oh, yeah…and we mostly don’t give our lovers high-paying government jobs they aren’t qualified for either. I don’t know though, we might want to do a House and Senate check for secret on-the-payroll lovers of all bents.
He was the “package” of bright young politico and it all came crashing down because he wasn’t honest—his wife, kid, and constituents paid the bigger price, while he gets to draw an advance from his publisher for his little “tell-most.” He had it all and lost it because of his behavior, not who he was. That’s the bottom line, and that’s why I won’t fill his pockets with my money. And, Oprah, whether she thinks so or not, is buying into the “I’ve sinned, forgive me, but buy my book” mentality.
We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Published on: Sep 20, 2006
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