Age, Age, Freakin' Age

Big dental appointment today. This may not be a big thing for most people but I am one of the 9-15% of people who avoid going to the dentist out of sheer terror. I won’t tell you how long it’s been. It’s too embarrassing. But, a few weeks ago, I bit down on a Boston Baked Bean and one of my teeth broke, I couldn’t put it off. I built myself up, to keep from going into full anxiety attack, to walk in the door. The waiting was the worst. And, I waited forever. Finally, I saw the dentist, and it was clear to him as I walked in that I would not be an easy patient, and I didn’t disappoint. Fortunately, I only had one hot flash in the few hours I was there.

 

I survived the experience, but did die later when they told me how much it was going to cost to fix everything over the next four or five visits.

 

So, then, it was off to the eye doctor to get the official notification that I am old, if the fact something falls apart every day wasn’t enough indication—the trifocal prescription. Damn, I don’t like getting old. I keep going over those words of wisdom imparted by my mom several years ago….”Don’t worry, you’ll never feel as good again as you do right now.” Damn.

 

Here's the analogy. If my body were a car, I'd be thinking about trading it in around now. I would like to upgrade. I would be actually on the lot somewhere and some guy with a loud sports jacket would be sizing me up...kinda lookin' around goin--maybe kickin my knees. Looking behind me going: "That looks a little bashed in back there...Yeah. You mind if I check under the hood?" 'Well yes I do! Thank you very much.
~ Ellen DeGeneres

 Published on: Sep 28, 2006