I had a discussion tonight about the merits of Leonard Cohen. I’m on a LC binge, I know. The beauty of his words is he somehow encapsulates all emotions in one song or poem. He gets the joy and sadness inherent in the day-to-day life. His humor keeps us all from taking it all way too seriously. Enrich your life—visit a Leonard Cohen song or book as soon as possible. Then equate it to your own life. Remember those arms that held you tight, that smile that gave you joy, the sadness of some small loss, the happiness when you heard your child formulate an original thought and share it, the little plant that stayed alive despite all your ministrations, and the beauty of each sunrise that allows you the opportunity to meet the new day.
On a completely different note, for all women over the age when they’ve decided that they ain’t birthin’ no baby...why do we have periods? Can’t we just sign an oath and swear allegiance to something and be rid of them? It’s like the x-ray tech who asks me if there’s any chance I’m pregnant. Mull that for a minute. I’ve polled the top 1,000 women and they all say, let us keep our hormones but without fear of growing beard and speaking in baritone and let us be rid of the ghastly Curse. Amen! If menopause was treated like erectile dysfunction, we would have had this little baby nipped in the bud a long time ago…and paid for by most health insurance plans.
All vertically challenged people should get tickets to all public venues half-priced. Or, they should provide a booster seat to offset the 6’4 person who has the seat in front of them. I never knew. Or, even better, the seating in all arenas should be done by height, just like the class pictures in third grade. Tallies in the back and shorties in the front.
I was told, that today on Southwest Airline flights, that the TSA was called in to do a massive search and seizure, saving our country from terrorists. Fortunately, the country was saved by them doing a manual search of carry-on luggage of all the angry, pre-menopausal Caucasian women over the age of 40 who had already made it past the security booth for a pre-board inspection wherein they nabbed several tubes of lethal hand lotions and vials of deadly makeup. I will sleep well tonight—nevermind those swarthy looking gents with excess electronics and a wild gleam in their eye who swooshed right through, but did not dare bring their best L’Oreal base and lip gloss. Hello, TSA, get a freakin’ clue!
Rant brought to you by the really pissed off white woman who spends most of the night fighting hot flashes and who needs her makeup.
Published on: Sep 8, 2006
No comments:
Post a Comment