Wordsmithing

I’ve done extensive research in the last few days of the “best” online dating sites. I’m going to have to pick just one though, because somewhere around the time I was last single, and then unsingle, and then single again, they started charging actual money to help millions find their soulmate. Wish I’d put that business model together.

 

First, the entire notion of finding that perfect congruency in a relationship seems impossible. I don’t believe such a thing exists. If they did, right now I’d have a nice little androgynous-fairly-cute-looking-smartass, tool wielding, book reading, covers hogging, non-cooking clone already. And how would we eat, neither of us would cook? I’d never be confused or hurt or angry because I’d so totally get another me.

 

Plus, I’m getting older, and the dating pool is much, much smaller. And, we, as a demographic, are frequently much larger than we were at 20. Where was this thing called Internet dating then, huh? I was browsing the photos of the available people in my area who are just waiting to hear from me so we can start our lives together, and I found one photo that remotely interested me. Okay, I’m shallow and it was the hot one. I’m sure that one is getting no responses. It was like putting a shiny new Corvette in with a lot full of Yugos. I think I’ll wait to post a photo until I find the photo retouch specialist I’ve heard so much about.

 

And, I’m a bit of a snob. Everyone sins with typos, but I’ve got to know that you can put a paragraph together and if you don’t know how to spell a word, you know how to use a dictionary. Even though this person didn’t have a photo posted and may be the hottest thing over 40, I’m not going to reply, because I just can’t go there:

 

would like to meet some one mature, intellegent, hard worker, that like to go

 

out to restaurant, socialable, good sence of humor with plans on the future.

 

On-line, all you have to lure your prey into your web of romance is your words. It’s got to be like a sales campaign. Set yourself apart. Say something startling, or incredibly perceptive. Do it in the first 20 words or less. I can see it clearly. So, while I’m hanging out in Arizona over the next few days, I’ll pull out the laptop and draw up at least three different sales campaigns and prepare to test them. Let’s see what we get!

 

The very first law of advertising is to avoid the
concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague
~ Bill Cosby

Published on: Feb 18, 2006