Coffee Date

I went to the appointed Starbuck’s as stated in online dating rule #1, showing up two minutes early. I went in to order my Vanilla Bean Frapuccino and waited outside. I didn’t really know what to expect, as people rarely look like their picture. By 10:10, I was fairly certain no one was showing up. I called my friend Viv and lamented my fate. I jumped in the car at 10:15 and drove over to Laure’s to fix her latest computer issue. As I sat down at her computer, the phone rang—it was the coffee date. My date had been sitting since 9:45 at the wrong Starbucks and was miffed with me for my tardiness. Well, now, that is not a good way to start—I had sent a map, the address, and the time. I reluctantly agreed to drive to the other Starbucks.

 

There sat my coffee date, looking the age on the driver’s license, despite the “work.” I don’t know many people who’ve had “work” done. Other than Joan Rivers. My date was very animated and talked non-stop about friends, work, grandchildren, past relationships, and even shared with me the details of the smells of the hazardous materials disposal at the hospital where my date once worked. My date had this weird body tic, jerking and jumping, as the endless chattering continued unabated. I faded in and out of the conversation, numb spot growing in the frontal lobe, watching the passers by, wondering if I’d left the iron on at home, ticking through a checklist of things I needed to get done this afternoon, and picking the dog hair off my sweater. It was freezing and dark inside the Starbucks and I longed for the sunshine I could see a mere 10 feet away. Somehow, if I could just get to the sunlight, maybe I’d be okay. Finally, I said, “If we’re going to continue this conversation, I need to take it to the sun.” We managed a few more minutes of chit -chat and my date blurted out, “Well, seems like I’ve done all the talking. You need to talk now.” I was actually beyond words—I had absolutely no desire to tell my date anything. I muttered a few niceties and moved quickly to my car, waving, just hoping that I could get out of the parking lot before it could be discerned what direction I would be traveling.

 

Why couldn’t I just have been stood up?

 

High expectations are the key to everything. ~ Sam Walton

 Published on: Mar 26, 2006