Part of being me is that I have trouble saying, “No.” Sometimes it’s not as important, like when I find a gifted kisser and the hour is late and they say, “Do I have to go?” or when someone says, “Would you like a second glass of Port?” Not that I remember on one of those, but I’d like to. Soon. Just to test my ability to say “No;” it would be a strictly controlled and completely scientific experiment. Really. Accepting applicants for experimental control group.
My problem is that I’m in the middle of my busiest time of the month work-wise and I get a little tense because so much is due at the same time and everyone is not running on my sense of urgency scale (okay, I’m tense for more than that reason, but hey, we’ve covered that). And, then, someone will come to me with a project completely outside of the realm of my scope of work in the midst of my chaos and I’m like??? What do you mean you heard that I could just “whip up a design for a client”—don’t we have a design department for that? Oh, you don’t want to pay the design department. I get it. But, you have lots of time to get it done—I see—it’s not due until 5 pm today—okay—did you promise the client? Ah, jeez…so I end up doing it.
I have an entire glorious weekend to myself this weekend and I had hoped for some beach time. Who knew it was Easter weekend and the hotels have been booked for months? Well, apparently, lots of people, because they got all the freakin’ reservations. So, I suggest to a friend of mine we get together, at which point she tells me her move-in date to her new house (a mere 3-hour drive) was moved to that weekend. Of course, I’m now helping her move.
There are lots of ways to say “No” in a nice way. I found some helpful ones on www.salesvantage.com. I’m adding them into my personal lexicon (except on those occasions noted earlier—a girl is entitled to as many vices as she wants, or so I was recently told):
For the Boss: "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is, I sure can do that for you. The bad news is, I'm so overloaded with everything else because of my stalwart dedication to our bottom line, I've become delirious and have been lying about my commitments." (Translation: Yeah, like I’m going to work one more minute a day for you, you slavedriver, I just got a new computer and I’ve got music to download)
For the Unwanted Date: "I would like to help you out on this but you understand I don't have the resources available to do the right job for you." (Translation: You will never be in my controlled experiment, go away)
Or
"I have made so many commitments to others, it would be unfair to them and you if I took on anything more at this point." (Translation: In the unlikely event I start getting around, I’ll stop short of stopping on your street)
For My Sister: "Just like you, I get overloaded sometimes and have to tell some very special people, "no". This is one of those times." (Translation: I am so not watching your dog this weekend; I have big plans to veg on the couch)
Everyone Else: "I don't know how soon I can help you on this, but I will get back to you as soon as I am free to help you." (Translation: Don’t stay up waiting for that call)
Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal. ~ Freidrich Nietzsche
Published on: Apr 12, 2006
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