Cool To Be A Fool

Once, I was a fool so in love I couldn’t see straight.  Sure, I’d been in love before, but not like that.  It seemed that finally, the heavens had parted and finally, the “one” who got me had arrived—that freak one in a billion.   And it wasn’t the Jaegermeister that passed those lips, the same lips that insisted it must be hallucinogenic, which could be the only reason it could have possibly happened.  Every word, every movement, every silly deflection (yes, that’s what I mean) was kick butt awesome.  Wouldn’t it be cool not to know that it’s just freakin’ endorphins and dopamine run amok? 

Was asked today if I might know why some people tap their pack of cigarettes before opening.  Explained that back in the day, someone told me about the more loosely packed full-flavored cigarettes and if one didn’t tap it, all the tobacco would fall out.  Of course, I have no idea if this is true, but it sounded good.  I then explained how I no longer “smacked my pack.”   Wouldn’t it have been cool if I had actually realized how that would sound before it came out of my mouth?

Wouldn’t it be cool if every single prima-Naomi Campbell-esque person had to take what they dish out to the people that phones keep being thrown at?   I’d like to do a little pro-bono work training the next team of cell-phone pitchers. 

I would imagine it would be cool to be an orphan right now.  I hear Jessica Simpson wants to start an orphanage.  I also heard she has always wanted to have a puppy, er, I mean orphan, because she went to Mexico with her family as a teen and asked her parents if she could adopt a little Mexican orphan baby and they wouldn’t let her—aw—those meanies.  I just know that would be one lucky kid.

It would have been cool to have a picture of my therapist’s face when I casually said, “You do know, don’t you, that I have music playing in my head all the time, right?”  Or, after months of working me through my last personal situation, coming in after she’d taken a long vacation I said,  “Gee, wish you would have been around, I really needed you. I decided to stay in my living hell after all, sorry all that work went to waste.”  I loved messing with my therapist.  I think she kind of liked it.

Wouldn’t it be cool if you could determine teams at work by playing a little poker?  This concept was raised in my ever-so-serious management meeting today.  I’ll bid one “Sue” and raise you “Bonnie” and “Kevin.”   Imagine the visual when the pot was won. The clients wouldn’t need to know how our uber-professional and highly qualified teams are determined to best suit their individual needs.  Thankfully, my boss brought me back to the meeting…”Lori, Lori, stop laughing…Lori, is that music playing in your head again?”

Am I really cool? You're telling me I'm cool? Well, that's good to hear.
~ Paul Giamatti

 Published on: Apr 1, 2006