Assume The Position

I find myself in a position I’ve not ever been in before—no, no, I’ve tried all those positions, I was part of the sexual revolution generation, after all. Get your mind out of the gutter and try to follow along. The position I find myself in is as an individual who has to actually burn a whole bunch of vacation days in addition to the ones I thought I had this summer, or lose it. Yes, yes, I know you think I lost it long ago, but again…try and focus.

 

Today, I had to plot my vacation strategy for there are days I truly cannot be gone. I’m the big brain trust on some issues at critical points throughout the month, and yes, I know, that IS a scary thought. Somehow, they haven’t caught onto me yet, so for now, just roll with me here. What I discovered during this process is I won’t work a 5-day week for the entire summer. And, even more thrilling is some weeks I’ll only work 2 days. Another reason to be giddy. Now I have to figure out what the heck to do with all that time. A colleague said, “What do you think you’ll do? You won’t know what to do if you’re not working.” Ah, contraire, I do. And I will. But only if I can disconnect myself from e-mail and the phone, and I came up with a creative idea.

 

So, if you have a yacht, a beachside property, or a standing reservation at an tropical resort, and are in need of charming and witty company who doesn't cook, but cleans, please email me immediately, don't waste a minute, because I’m sure I’ll book up quickly.

 

The puppy, formerly known as Rita/Sandy/Puppy/Lilly has officially been christened Gina. She’s got that whole passionate Italian thing going on, so it fits perfectly. And, I can say, when I roll into work tired, as I frequently do, “Dang, that Gina kept me up all night again. She’s wearing me out.” It will raise my cool status huge at the office.

 

Oh, hey. You know mean people? Yeah, them. Those people who scream and yell at someone who just happened to answer the phone because the slaves were occupied. And, apparently, the one particular rude person I spoke with the other day treats everyone like that. So, a couple days later, I came into the office to the note above. Guy didn’t even have the nads (so many tyrants are nad-less, after all) to apologize to me personally. I'm thinking those SPAMMERS who sell penile enhancements have a ripe target with this guy. Write me for his e-mail address.

 

And, after over a month air conditioner-less, the part for the part has finally arrived. I’ll be using my first of my many days off sitting at my place, waiting for them to show up and fix the dang thing. I must have some wicked good karma, because most every day the last two weeks has actually been tolerable. The children thank my karma too.

 

Mean People Suck

~ Unknown

 Published on: Jun 15, 2006